Donne Tempo - Naomi Drew

Naomi Drew
“Naomi Drew is recognized around the world as an expert on conflict resolution, peacemaking, and parenting. Her book, Learning the Skills of Peacemaking was one of the first to introduce peacemaking to public education. Hailed as visionary, her work has enabled educators, parents, and people of all ages to live these skills on a daily basis.”
— from Learning Peace

The tradition of teaching peace is ancient, unfortunately it is an easier concept to speak about and hope for than to really enact in our lives. Naomi Drew is a leading expert on teaching peacemaking as a skill and Donne Tempo is honored to have Debbie Robins, author of "Where is Peace," profile of Ms. Drew.

Why do you feel teaching peace is so important?

Teaching peace is critically important because we've all been schooled in the ways of war, but we've never learned how to make peace.

Think about it -- the study of history is defined by wars that were fought, but never peace that's been made. Look at statues and monuments in our parks and communities -- they're almost always of war heroes, never heroes of peace. What we focus on most is what we manifest. Look at the world, and you see proof of this every day.

Our children desperately need to learn that peace is something we can create through our words, actions, and moment-to-moment choices. It's not just the absence of war. It's an active dynamic process that defines our relationships and the quality of our lives. Being a peaceful person doesn't mean turning the other cheek and being passive; it means having the courage to look at both sides of the issue with an open mind and a compassionate heart, to speak ones truth, but to do so respectfully, even in the face of disagreement.

Today's children are our future leaders. Imagine what the world would be like if today's leaders had been taught peacemaking when they were in school.

Imagine how many people would still be alive today if we found ways to talk out our differences rather than destroy each other as the result of them.

If we integrated peace into our educational blueprint, we would likely see an end to the bullying epidemic that's sweeping our schools like a fast-moving plague. We'd also see kids talking out problems instead of jumping into a fight.  We might even begin to see some of the world's problems being solved, because peace is a collaborative effort that encourages people to use their collective intelligence and resources to address difficult issues.

Imagine harnessing young people's energy toward the common good, guiding our kids to know that they have the power to make the world better.

Imagine gang members using their vast reserves of energy to contribute to their communities rather than destroying them. These are some of the many possibilities that the teaching of peace could give birth to.

More deliverables would be a decrease in youth violence, a drop in school shootings, and perhaps even a decrease in the growing youth suicide rate. Kids who are taught to solve problems and talk out issues are more likely to look at their own problems in a similar light. A child who's been taught since kindergarten to express feelings and concerns would be more likely to discuss a problem than feel he has to bear it alone.

Another huge deliverable would be an increase in learning. When kids feel emotionally unsafe, learning slows down. It's Maslow's Heirarchy. The first and most basic need is for safety, and that includes emotional safety.

I've worked with kids across the country that are bullied and have seen first hand the devastation that's wreaked on their psyches as a result.

Learning is stymied when a child is preoccupied with being mistreated. Yet, when schools take on peacemaking as a full-scale initiative, the climate in the building becomes more positive and the capacity for learning increases.

What have been the challenges to creating your peace curriculum?

When I first started introducing conflict resolution to schools back in 1983, people had a hard time believing that working out conflicts was even possible. Thankfully, that has changed. The greatest challenge now is the obsession with high-stakes testing.  Ironically, the research tells us that all this testing doesn't foster long-term learning. Quite the opposite -- when we teach to the test kids retain information for the short-term without fully integrating it.

Today's teachers are so stressed out trying to prepare students for all these tests that there's no time left to teach basic social skills.

Everyone loses here. A certain amount of testing is appropriate, but we've gone way over the edge. One of the greatest complaints I hear from teachers is that kids are losing the ability to positively interact with each other. Their listening skills are suffering, and there's an undercurrent of put-downs. We really need to get our priorities back in order, educating the whole child, not only the academic side.

As Daniel Goleman's research on emotional intelligence has shown, people who interact well with others have a much higher rate of success in life. We are cheating our kids if we ignore this fact.

Where have the wins been to peace’s advantage?

Wins -- there have been many.  When I started doing this work, teaching peacemaking wasn't even a blip on the radar screen. I still remember sitting down with my board and coming up with our mission statement, that by 1999 the skills of peacemaking would be a part of public education. That has actually happened, but it needs to happen more -- a lot more. Character education has been a big boon to peacemaking, but now, with the war in Iraq leaching money out of the country's budgets and affecting all of us at the local level, many character education budgets have been drastically cut or even eliminated. A big win would be to put that money back in. We started something powerful, wonderful, and necessary and it needs to continue.

Other wins -- the work of peacemaking goes on every day without many of us even knowing it.  Harvard's Project on Preventing War, the work of The Carter Center, the Compassionate Listening Project, Nonviolent Communication, The Southern Poverty Law Center -- there are so many wonderful organizations doing the work of peace, too many to list here. But we need to keep growing, showing our faces, letting people see that there are reasons for hope.

What are the next steps that Donne Tempo readers can take to help?

Make peace a priority in your words, actions, and every-day choices. Think before you speak and remember that you are your children's most important role models. Expect and demand kindness.  Kindness has become a forgotten word in our society, relegated to greeting cards and advertisements. Make peace and kindness living breathing words in your homes, schools, neighborhoods, and workplaces. We have the power to increase peace and kindness as currently underused commodities, unleashing their transformative possibilities beyond what we can even perceive.

Talk to your child's teacher and encourage him or her to integrate the skills of peacemaking into the curriculum. So many teachers have found ways to do this. If you need names of teachers who can show other teachers how, contact me through my website,
LearningPeace.com, and I'll connect you with them. "Peaceful Parents," an e-newsletter I do as a free service to my readers is also available on my site.

It contains practical strategies to help you bring the skills of peacemaking into your homes.

Talk to each other too. Despair about the world as it is can only stay alive by keeping our fears to ourselves. Counter fear and despair by reaching out, telling the truth, and taking action. That's what I did when my beloved sons were only 6 and 9. Despair about the world they were growing up in lead me to do all of the work in peace I've been doing for the past 25 years. Harness the energy of hope by connecting to other moms who care. That's what I did, and nothing has been the same since.

What media do you recommend for families to inspire peace?

My favorite website is Tolerance.org, the website of Teaching Tolerance, is the best resource I know for teaching acceptance, compassion, and peace. It contains wonderful activities, lessons and books for parents, teachers, and kids. I'm going to mention my books here also, because I know how much they've helped teachers and parents around the world who use them: Learning the Skills of

Peacemaking and The Peaceful Classroom in Action are excellent resources for elementary schools, and The Kids' Guide to Working Out Conflicts and its accompanying Leaders' Guide are award-winning resources for middle schools. Peaceful Parents, Peaceful Kids and Hope and Healing: Peaceful Parenting in an Uncertain World give parents concrete tools for creating more peaceful homes.  One of my favorite books about creating personal peace is Peace is Every Step, by Thich Nhat Hanh, also anything by the Dalai Lama.